Mamma goes to school again

As I sit at the dinner table this crisp Saturday morning,
I am faced with the following:
a drab garden
with dried and dying foliage
scattered all over
a messy dinner table
with pencil shavings, old receipts,

a glass with tell-tale remnants of curdling milk
towels hanging off chairs,
an overflowing sink
and my overflowing mind.

Yet I sit here, and prepare to get through my course work. Why?

• This September I started my Masters courses in a subject area of my choice, I did it for me.
• I chose two courses with a full time work load, I did it for me.
• I am working towards a thesis, the highest form of academic expression at this level of study. I did it for me. 

I have silenced the voices. Well at least some days I am able to do it, today is one of them.

Shhh, I say to the whispers that remind me

• you are the mother, you should clean
• you are the mother, you should make breakfast
• you are the mother you should empty the dishwasher, pick up the dirty socks, start the laundry, fill the dishwasher, start cooking lunch
• you are the mother, you should, you should, you should
• WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU??????? 

And I just sat at the messy dinner table with my cup of tea and started checking work emails (I cannot let my colleagues waiting, if they need some action items looked at). Then I tweeted the thought that was upper-most in my mind.
then I started a new blog.

I hope to write everyday.
The dishes can wait a little longer.